Empathic Leadership | Book Review

“Every person you deal with – every single person – regardless of
the outcome, should feel respected by having interacted with you.”
(p. 16)

Subtitled How to Build Trust and Drive Results may be thought of as a how-to guide for better negotiation skills, better listening skills, and ultimately a key guide to becoming a better leader. Although the book’s primary authors are Chris Voss, CEO of The Black Swan Group and Brandon Lark, President of Great Southwestern Construction, nineteen additional authors comprise a total of twenty-one chapters, or stories.

Voss’ influence threads through many of the chapters, particularly his method of teaching Tactical Empathy. Brandon Lark’s chapter, Empathy- Driven Leadership in Electrical Construction, showcases a holistic approach to empathy spanning from formative family values to application via safety and training in a high-risk profession. Accordingly, this review showcases Voss and Lark’s contributions.

Tactical Empathy

At the core, tactical empathy is another way to describe trust-building.

Voss describes the Black Swan Method as pairing tactical and empathy as a mechanism to show understanding and to create bonding. Recall in our Academy Leadership Leveraging the Power of Conflict workshop’s Conflict Leadership Strategies, that the superior method is Collaboration, both assertive and cooperative. Likewise, Tactical Empathy is a highly effective application of the two.

Let’s explore cooperation a bit more. Voss believes that Daniel Goleman’s definition of the three types of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and empathic concern (p. 13) are very close to the Black Swan Group definition. In this way, Tactical Empathy informs us to go deeper to understand rather than manipulate.

Voss historically mentions that Carl Rogers would say that empathy is entering the perspective of the other person without fear or judgement. Another way to say this is we should seek to understand others by listening or coaching rather than waiting to speak or evaluation. This concept is one of the key teachable points of view from our Feedback (words haver power) workshop.

Karrie Burns (Chapter 3) concludes:

Investing the time and effort to develop empathy within
your family may turn out to be the most valuable
and rewarding commitment you ever make. (p. 36)

Application | Personal Leadership Philosophy

Personal disclosure: I have known Brandon Lark since 2013 and consider him client, colleague, and friend. Brandon’s chapter 15 contains a section How I Got Here, describing his rural New Mexico childhood and the values instilled in him. Interestingly this description is how Brandon opens his Personal Leadership Philosophy. Two examples are the importance of earning an honest dollar and that one’s word should be stronger than any written contract. Those aren’t simply words, that’s how Brandon approaches both life and business.

Two additional leadership applications worth mentioning. Brandon is a champion of Knowledge-sharing. When we first met years ago, Great Southwestern Construction had a bifurcated employee distribution, largely seasoned veterans and relatively junior employees, often recent high school graduates. Brandon mentions that GSW wants [their] veterans to come alongside the rookies and guide them, much like Spring Training for a championship baseball team (p. 154).

The other application is placing Families First. This is far-reaching, including a holistic, everyday emphasis on safety. GSW goes further. It means having the empathy to get to know individuals, crews, and their families, and how project workloads may affect them. Brandon recalls just a generation ago 

It was assumed you’d be married three times
and divorced three times. (p. 154)

GSW is now an industry pioneer, demonstrating that a purposeful, valuable career path is available without requiring a prior college degree, opening up a new set of opportunities for our youth.

Summary

Recall that our Energize2Lead Profile expectations dimension lets others know how we wish to be approached. This is much deeper than the proverbial Golden Rule, which uses our self as a point of reference. Brandon Lark closes his chapter with Austrian doctor Alfred Adler who once described empathy as:

“Seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another,
and feeling with the heart of another.” (p. 155)

Thank you, Brandon, for all of our shared experiences.